Freakin Friday - I hate weekends

School today.  Hooray.  I was trying to see how many days Audrianna had gone to school in the past four weeks and I think it was 3 days.  Too much sickness and snow in the past month.  I am hoping that things will get back to normal now.  I can tell it has taken its toll on me.  I have been so depressed and short-tempered.  All she wants to do is eat, eat, eat.  "My tummy is hurting".  That is even worse to me than "I'm hungry".  Because then I have to remember that it is painful to be starving.  The more depressed I am, the quicker I am to let her eat.  I try to keep it to a minimum and low cal but the last few days I have just been too ill myself to care.  So to make up for it, we had salads for lunch and dinner to offset those in between meal snacks.  We both enjoyed the salads and that was a plus.  She even helped me make the lunch salads.  Well, she watched.  We tried garbanzo beans, beets, shredded carrots, 1/2 hardboiled egg (white only) and sugar snap peas yesterday in her salad and she liked it.   She wondered who made the beets "pink".  They were actually deep dark red (the normal color of beets) but she seemed to think they were pink.  

I have been feeling like a failure and I am trying to remember that it is just the stress of being trapped in the house for all these days with minimal contact with others.  I feel like I am in solitary confinement.  The more I stay in, the harder it is to go out.  I feel I am becoming a recluse.  It is just easier to stay in but not necessarily healthier.

I do have an IEP meeting on Monday morning that I will be going too and for the first time ever, I do not dread it.  The new teacher makes all the difference in the world.  I am very happy with how things are going for the most part.  There are a few things I need to mention about things the assistant has said but nothing that cannot be managed easily.  

I tried pink text today to see if it could cheer me up.  Maybe a little, but the Warm Delights brownie I just cooked in the microwave and ate probably cheered me up a little more.  Warm chocolate and a glass of milk.  Delightful.  Makes me feel cozy and ready to lay down.  Might as well, Audrianna has been asleep for an hour.

This is just rambling and I am sure nobody is interested in the ramblings of an old woman but tonight thats all there is.  I really wish there was a community for us.  I really need to live close to people like me, with a child like mine, who I could visit once in a while, and my child could play with someone like her.  I wonder if there would be government funding for such a thing, some kind of apartment building just to start out.   I know it wouldnt work out for some families, but I think there are others that it would.  

More rambling.  Gotta go.  Goodnight my friends.

Janis